Dec 2, 2014

Website Launch! Blog Moving


Shay's blog moving to www.shayholland.com
Beyond excited to share that I've launched my new website!  That means I've moved my blog there.  I can't tell you how much it has meant to have your support as I've been writing here these last few years.  While I won't be posting here after this month, my new website will better showcase my entertainment industry work for casting directors and others.  

I have a sense of big things coming very soon and can't wait to share them with you. May you be blessed beyond measure, pressed down, spilling over this holiday season!


 --- 



Twitter:  www.twitter.com/shayholland


p.s. hit me up on Twitter and I'll follow you back!

Nov 21, 2014

Chris Hemsworth - What to Look for in a Man

Photo:  People Magazine 2014
Today: this face on magazine stands around the world.  Despite the Twitter chatter that other stars should have received the title, in my book Chris Hemsworth is the "Sexiest Man Alive."

He's even sexier in person.  I had a chance to meet Chris last Oscar season at a screening for his film, Rush, hosted by the Directors Guild.  The PR team emphatically stated Chris would not be signing autographs or taking photos.

I happened to be in one of the front rows and before his handlers could whisk him off stage, Chris was taking selfies with us and signing pictures. Thor up close - sexy? Um, speechless. 
Photo:  People Magazine 2014
Besides the fact that he's hot, Chris seems to have qualities that would make for an ideal mate.  He's married but if you're looking for more than a Tinder hook-up, here are five traits I saw in Chris that would make any guy the sexiest man alive:

1.  He's humble about his looks.  
Chris honestly didn't seem to notice or care how hot he is.  Maybe it's the scruff or the tousled hair or the not-too-shredded muscles - but he doesn't seem like one of those guys who spends half his time at the gym or in front of a mirror.  That translates into knowing you'll get his attention, whether in the bedroom or the boardroom.

2.  He's gracious.
Chris could have walked off the stage shielded by his handlers but you could tell he wanted to be gracious to the audience.  I'm sure he hates getting mobbed by fans but he seems to accept it as part of the cost of fame.  He doesn't seem to let the adoration get to his ego.  A gracious guy is one who makes others feel significant instead of insisting the spotlight always be on him.

3.  He can laugh at himself.
Chris laughed often during the Q&A and it was easy to feel happy and upbeat listening to him.  Ever been with a guy where you're always afraid you'll say the wrong thing and set him off? No one's worth that much work. A sense of humor goes a long way during stormy times.

4.  He's authentic.
Chris didn't seem to be worried about protecting an image.  He's doesn't act like Thor in real life; he has soft spots.  The guy who never appears weak? The mystery may seem alluring initially but you'll eventually find yourself pounding on the wall he's built around his heart. A truly sexy man doesn't need a false version of himself to attract others.

5.  He honors his wife and family.
Chris probably gets hit on constantly but I loved how he honored his wife even when she wasn't around. He didn't try to come across as a stud. He wasn't ashamed of the ring on his finger.  A man who honors those around him? Sexy times 100.

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Nov 17, 2014

From Weddings to Weight Loss - What Solange Shows Us

Photo:  Vogue
Before she whipped Jay Z, I had never paid much attention to Solange Knowles. Now, of course, the world knows not to mess with BeyoncĂ©'s little sister. 

And now, with her unconventional white wedding in Vogue, she's the star of her own beautiful, blazing moment.  

Solange thrashed the wedding rule book: the bike ride to the ceremony, the guests in white, the caped gown - showing us all that sometimes the best way to rock your life is by defying everything you've been taught. 

Speaking of vows...In a few weeks, we'll be inundated with ads from the billion-dollar diet industry seeking our dollars to help with our New Year's resolutions.  It might be time to take a page from Solange's playbook and say:  Screw your rules.

From weddings to weight loss, sometimes you have to be the game-changer.

Ditching the rules - and the scale - helped me lose 50 pounds after failing horribly with traditional dieting methods.  If common diets have left you starving, fatter than ever and burned out, why not take a note from Solange?  Forget the formulas. Do it your way.   

Below are some articles and blog posts I've written with unconventional ideas for weight loss:

Throw Away Your Scale to Lose Weight for Life

When Fat Is Not Beautiful two-part blog series

Detox the Emotions Keeping You Unhealthy

You can bet when it's my time for nuptials, I'm following Solange's lead and re-writing the story there, too.  Congrats to the couple!  
Photo:  Vogue

 
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Nov 15, 2014

Before She Broke the Internet

Photo:  Paper Magazine 2014
Before she tried to break the Internet, we broke secrets of Kim Kardashian's flawless looks. 

Kim has featured some of her favorite places in my Santa Monica neighborhood on her reality show.  I was astonished when I ran into her that she is quite gorgeous and even more petite than me, except her booty!

During a recent season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, I interviewed celebrity beauty expert Dana Waldie about treatments and products stars like Kim use to get their red carpet looks.  

Check out the links below for tips on everything from choosing makeup to help you get that celebrity glow to determining the best facial treatment for your skin type. 

Keeping Up with the Kardashians beauty series:

Part 1:  Look younger without injections

Part 2:  What it's like working on a TV set

Part 3:  Expert tips for a flawless face

Part 4:  How to get the best facial for you

Is there really any value in Kim's full frontal strip show for Paper magazine?   True beauty isn't measured by the junk in your trunk but by the light of a soul set ablaze.  Still, no harm in stealing a few A-list beauty secrets.


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Nov 10, 2014

Veteran's Day Salute

Photo:  Forgotten New York
Honoring our veterans for protecting our country; especially my dad, who would do it all over again if the military would let him.
 
When we were kids, we used to love marching around the house in my dad's Army boots. He'd come home and leave them at the door, not bothering to polish them yet - knowing my brother and I would end up clomping around the living room practicing our salutes.
 
His boots were heavy and black and shiny - perfect, really.  Somehow they represented courage and honor and dedication that we had yet to grown into.
 
I knew my dad and 'his men' (he taught us to address soldiers by rank) did brave and important things for our country.  But when he took off those boots at the door, that was when he did the job he loved most - being a dad.
 
To all who serve, thank you.

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Oct 21, 2014

Does God Care About Baseball?

Artwork:  Will Johnson
Yes. God cares about baseball.  Cares enough to show up at ballparks all the time. Answering prayers...often ones that have little to do with the game.

Not long ago I had an experience at AT&T Park like Ray in Field of Dreams.

A friend had convinced me to run the San Francisco half-marathon (the fact that I could run more than two blocks is a miracle in itself, story here).

I was excited to fulfill such a bold dream in the place I still call home; to run the streets where I'd lived; to run past AT&T Park where I would play hooky from work to watch the Giants.

The day of the race, a runner in front of me collapsed just as we ran alongside the stadium.  He didn't move. His chest lay flat, like there was no breath left in him.  Seconds seemed to be forevers.

"Stay with us, Eric!" his friends shouted, "Stay with us!"

I wanted to kneel next to him and breath air into his lungs but found only a silent prayer. God, please don't let him die!

There's a story in the Bible about this pool called Bethesda.  An angel would come stir the waters and divine healing would be released.

As the runner lay motionless, I glanced up at the glistening China Basin waters that flow along the ballpark's south walls.  And I saw the waters stir...

...I don't think that day was merely about a race.  Sometimes we're put in a place at a specific moment simply to whisper a prayer that changes things.

We just don't recognize life's most significant moments while they're happening.  Back then I thought, 'Well, there will be other days.' I didn't realize that that was the only day. ~ Field of Dreams

There outside the ballpark, I knew heaven had invited me into this moment; had entrusted me with the mystery of prayer. I felt His presence; a power greater than darkness or death. In that moment, I knew Eric would breathe again.

I also knew that I was supposed to finish the race. Yes, for myself - to celebrate the triumph of losing 50 pounds and restoring my health - but also for a stranger whose body failed him before he could cross the finish line.

Yes. God shows up at ballparks all the time.  Oh, I don't think He's betting on whether the Giants or Royals will win the World Series (that would hardly be fair!) but keep an eye on the waters...

They'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters.  ~ Field of Dreams


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Oct 9, 2014

How to Break Up and Keep Your Heart Intact

"Begin Again" Taylor Swift.
It is insanely painful. ~ Jennifer, on breaking-up

While Taylor Swift has mastered the art of channeling break-up pain through her music, when it happens to most of us, we just hurt. intensely. insanely. like we will never love again. ever.

Those of us who are the "loyal-like-Rihanna-is-to-Chris type" understand the dread of losing relationships.

It's over. Because you feel cheated. Tired of the constantly changing terms.

Sing it, Taylor, girl:

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday. 
("Dear John" by Taylor Swift)

Endings always leave an empty space.

Recently I was walking out a very real heartache as a friend messaged:  He hurt me today deeply.


She shared of one of those moments when the earth drops out from under you – a time for tissues, Häagen Dazs and girlfriends.

Yet, amid the tidal wave of emotions, I could hear love. Demanding. Shouting. YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN.

How?  How do you mend a heart that's shattered into a million pieces?

My friend knew she'd done the right thing breaking up with a man who was not meant to be her husband.  And there in her pain, came perspective so many of us need to hear.

Even though he may be a great man, he may not be YOUR man.

Loving yourself may mean having the courage and fortitude to let go. And be alone.  It may mean eating dinners alone. Nights alone. Holidays without him at your side.

In our hearts, we know spending a lifetime with someone we're not meant to be with would be worse than breaking up.  But, oh, it is insanely, intensely painful and lonely. RIGHT NOW.

And indeed, you will have doubts every day, says Jennifer.

I try to think of some word of comfort.  Some verse of hope.  Some promise from heaven. And all that comes out is...

"Time WILL heal the wound. Life WILL be beautiful again."

...trying to decree healing where right now there's only broken pieces.

Shut the door.  Eat M&M's until your fingers turn rainbow shades. Weeping may endure for the night. But in the morning, wake up expecting a new chapter to begin.  Because that is His promise.

And when you feel like you're finally starting to breathe on your own, love will come knocking. Daring you to open the door ever so slightly.  And you will find that your heart has healed and reawakens to something new...reshaped through pain, readied to love again.

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again. 
 
~Taylor Swift, "Begin Again"

Sep 9, 2014

Runways and Red Carpets

Victoria Beckham.  Photo:  Elle Magazine 2014
Bring on the spice! Over the past year, I've been working with stylists and makeup artists and health experts who make the stars look so good.  They've been sharing secrets from the runway to the red carpet. 

I was never one of those girls who's obsessed with fashion or makeup or perfectly flat abs. Now I have a new appreciation for the creative ones who work in those industries. Instead of shunning the culture of beauty, my goal has been to embrace it in a way that's helpful to women. 

One of the God-given desires of a woman's heart is to feel beautiful. I was being handed so many helpful ways that have transformed my confidence that I wanted to share them. Here's a compilation of videos with guests from my lifestyle webisodes. For more on any of the A-list tips, you can check out full videos on my YouTube channel.

I'm so grateful for you, creative ones. And for you, for sharing this beautiful adventure!


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Aug 5, 2014

Five Rookie Tips for Your First Half Marathon

Starting line of the San Francisco Marathon. July 27, 2014 photo: GameFace Media
 Fifty pounds ago, I dreaded when the elevator in my building broke down.

You know you're in bad shape when you decide to wait at Starbucks for the repair man to fix it rather than climb seven flights of stairs to your apartment.

Now, a year later, I just ran my first half marathon! Even raised money for a charity that helps wounded soldiers.

FROM HOLLYWOOD TO THE HAIGHT
On the flight from LA to San Francisco, I wrestled with fear of being escorted off the course on a stretcher. What was I thinking?! Maybe I could tell people my plane got hijacked...

Though the nerves never fully subsided, I finished the race in 2:12; fast enough to place in the top third of women in my age bracket and in the top half of all men and women.

Considering a year ago I hated climbing stairs, that's a miracle. Still, I felt post-race letdown from knowing I'd held back - partly because of the learning curve and partly because of fear of injury and failure.

Here are some lessons I learned, as well as products I used (unfortunately no one paid me) for other rookie runners.
Friends cheering me on at mile 6 of the San Francisco half marathon
1. Drink.
I decided to rely solely on the support stations for hydration. I don't carry water when I run in LA (my routes pass lots of drinking fountains) and the race was not the time to try to adapt to a bulky water belt (Geek alert: Google tips on how to run through water stations like a pro). While this worked for me, later runners complained of dry stations by the time they got there.

Also, volunteers had trouble keeping up with demand, meaning long lines. Runners impacted by the heat - the sun made a rare blazing appearance in a City famous for its summer fog - couldn't afford to skip stations. A runner in front of me collapsed a mile from the finish line.

No matter how many support stations, best to carry your own water - just in case.

2. Eat.
I ate a simple breakfast a couple hours before the race: trail mix with almonds, cranberries, raisins, a banana and an energy bar. Enough to prevent "hitting the wall" but not enough for a full stomach.

I didn't change my eating habits or carbo-load but I did carry a power bar during the race. Discovered about mile 7 why it wasn't the best choice - felt like swallowing pebbles AND made me thirsty.

While the course did have energy gel stations, I skipped those since I'd never used gels; best not to try anything new during a race.  

Whatever you choose for fuel, make sure it's easy to swallow like gummies. Some marathoners on YouTube suggest baby food in tubes. Whatever works.

3.  Pace.
Runner friends had warned me not to start too fast; don't want to hit the wall or be in pain later.

Unfortunately, I was way too cautious.

Big races are divided into waves, or groups, based on estimated finish time. Organizers put me in the last wave (about 3 hours) given factors like inexperience, age and gender.

I made a last-minute decision to move up a full wave as the race started but the pace was still slow for me. I wasted time learning protocol on the packed course: Is it ok to run in the grass to pass people? Do I need to stay in my wave? What if teams blocking the lanes won't move?

A lack of mile markers also caused problems. I was saving energy for the hills and last half, not realizing I was way further along than I thought. I usually sprint the last stretch so got ready to "kick it" - only to find I was literally crossing the finish line!

Talk about anti-climactic.

Make sure to have a good idea of your finish time. Training in the mountains, I focus on endurance (and avoiding mountain lions!) rather than speed so I had no idea of my race pace.

A smart watch might be a good investment; makes a huge difference knowing if you're at mile 7 or 10.
Melted my heart seeing "Go, Shay, go!!!" signs.

4. Tunes.
Race Organizers didn't want runners wearing headphones - makes sense safety-wise for a crowded urban event - so I decided to skip my tunes. I did wear a fanny pack to carry my phone and keys since there was no place to check valuables.  

I really wished I'd had my power jams (Jake Hamilton's top of my playlist) in the boring industrial areas. Running with music definitely helps but maybe use one ear bud.

5. Gear.
I'm not fussy about brands - comfort is key - but did upgrade a few things for the race.

One problem is finding good running socks for small feet. Scored with Experia Thorlo micro minis. Best $15 purchase ever. No slipping socks, no blisters.

While hot weather was forecast, it was cool and foggy at start time. I made a last-minute decision to wear the official polyester race jersey over my tank since I hate running cold.

If you do start out wearing long sleeves, consider something you can literally throw on the side of the road if you don't want to run with it tied around your waist (most races donate the left-behinds to shelters).  Just know it'll cost time re-pinning your bib.

Also, a note on hair and makeup (diva!). Hair in the eyes is a big distraction but baseball caps make your head hot and sweaty. I wore a pinned up ponytail and dab of makeup (LancĂ´me Teinte Idole foundation, lip gloss, mascara).
Bubble! San Francisco Marathon. photo:  GameFace Media
POST RACE
Can't beat finish line food and beer!  Coconut water, muffins, bananas and Sierra Nevada in the beer garden. Make sure to get a wristband at the pre-race bib pickup so you can skip the longer line to show I.D.

I was concerned about soreness as I could feel my quads straining on the steep downhills. Two days of stretching and rest and I was back on the trails.

I plan to run another race to push my limits.  There's a verse that keeps me going: Run the race that lies before us and never give up.*

Good luck on your rookie race!

---
So how did I go from hoarding chocolate chip cookies to running a half marathon? Read my weight loss story here: Feel Rich and here When Fat is Not Beautiful

*Hebrews 12:1

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Jun 30, 2014

Running for the Rangers!

This is happening! After losing 50 pounds, I got this crazy idea to run a half-marathon!  And, with your help, every step will be supporting our wounded military heroes.

As the daughter of a retired U.S. Army officer, I drew on the perseverance and faith my dad modeled to kick obesity's butt.  My dad wasn't the strongest or biggest soldier, but he had the courage to fight segregation and rise through the ranks.

Now I plan to run the San Francisco half marathon to raise funds for an incredible non-profit called Army Ranger Lead the Way Fund. Created by the family of Sgt. James Regan who was killed in action in Iraq, the Fund helps active duty and wounded Special Operations U.S. Army Rangers and families of soldiers killed in combat.

Here's a video if you want to hear more about why I'm running:

Also, please check out my GoFundMe page and thanks for helping me run for the Rangers!
---
If you want to read the story of how I lost 50 pounds, click here.


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Jun 11, 2014

10 Tips for Keeping it Classy from the Red Carpet

Catherine Zeta-Jones at the American Film Institute tribute to Jane Fonda. June 2014
classy \ adjective : having qualities that make someone special and attractive : showing impressive character (Merriam-Webster dictionary)
---
What makes a person classy?  Take Catherine Zeta Jones.  She's fought bi-polar disorder, a stormy marriage, a stalled career. Yet she still exudes class - not with a designer dress and diamonds, but with warmth and a wave.

So what's the difference between classy and trashy?  Here's a few things I've observed from the red carpet: 

1.  Classy people have mastered the art of flirting to make others feel special - not necessarily to get them into bed. 

2.  Classy people don't drink too much - both to avoid acting like a fool and long lines for the restroom. Squatting somewhere is never classy. Neither is peeing in a bucket, Mr. Bieber.

3.  Classy people aren't afraid to apologize, like Reese Witherspoon when she pulled the, "Do you know who I am?" line on a cop.   

4.  Classy people are kind even when others don't deserve it; no Alec Baldwin tantrums.  "Never sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none." (author unknown)

5.  Classy people have a mystique that somehow commands it; that's why they can leave the see-through dresses to Rihanna.

6.  Classy people look others in the eye.  Besides, wearing sunglasses at night makes anyone look like a douche.  Except maybe Bono. And Stevie Wonder.

7.  Classy people end conversations graciously, even if they're talking to someone creepy.  

8.  Classy people wear panties in public. 

9.  Classy people aren't threatened by others' success and don't try to make anyone feel insignificant; they're secure enough to let you be fabulous.

10.  Classy people don't obsess over their fame; they see it mainly as a platform to do good and inspire the world.

And the bonus observation - classy people don't waste time trying to make others love them. Instead, they unselfishly love the ones who matter most.  

"Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuit of people [that don't even matter] to love us, while the people who do love us...watch us beg in the streets." (C. JoyBell)

Keep it classy.


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May 21, 2014

Katie Couric's No Sugar Challenge: My Astonishing Results

Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't feed her kids sugar, gluten, dairy or soy. Photo from her cookbook, "It's All Good" www.linenme.com





Going sugar-free like Gwyneth Paltrow or vegan like BeyoncĂ© is too extreme for me.  That's why I didn't immediately commit when I heard about Katie Couric's challenge to give up added sugar for 10 days (I also did a video for Katie's "Co-host for a Day" contest).

Fed Up is Katie's new film about our health crisis. The challenge, promoting the movie's launch, intrigued me because of my own struggle with obesity and family history of stroke, diabetes and weight-related issues.

Afraid I'd be setting myself up for failure, I decided to try it for three days instead of 10.  While I've mostly beaten food cravings, some of my choices are still high in sugar:  flavored yogurt, chocolate, fruit juice. I'd already given up most processed junk foods and sodas, so what was the benefit in going totally sugar-free?

Turns out there were plenty!  Starting with a shrinking gut, clearer skin, weight loss, shinier hair.
photo www.katiecouric.com
I share more about how I'm beating genetic obesity on the health and fitness site, Feel Rich, started by music mogul Quincy Jones' son but suffice it to say my body was showing astonishing benefits from being sugar-free for the first time ever.

Most surprising was the rapid weight loss. I wish I'd taken measurements on the first day of the challenge. I didn't expect to firm up and get toned like Kelly Ripa (ok, that might be overstating the results a bit).

Surprisingly, I felt compelled to keep going after the first three days.  It wasn't nearly as brutal as I'd feared; no major withdrawal like headaches or jitters.
the amount of sugar I'd normally consume in just three days!
a 'Katie' viewer suggested putting what you give up in a jar - stunning visual
I believe in listening to our bodies, which is how I lost 50 pounds defying traditional diet wisdom (read my article, Throw Away Your Scale to Lose Weight for Life) and why I kept going for 10 days.

I did feel VERY deprived at first. I especially missed drinking tea with sugar, which I replaced with sparkling water.  I also missed fruit juice - particularly since I'd already given up soda.

Quitting desserts was the hardest part. I'd already swapped super poor choices - cookies, cupcakes, Ben & Jerry's - for healthier ones like frozen yogurt and power bars but those were taboo since they have added sugar.

There were some drawbacks like afternoon exhaustion (managed with a nap) and intense sweet cravings (tamed with fresh berries).

My conclusion?  My body wants far less sugar than I've been eating - even the 'good' kinds like honey and 100% fruit juices.

So will I religiously avoid sugar like Gwyneth Paltrow and other Hollywood stars? Nah, a girl needs her occasional red velvet cupcake. But I do plan to make some permanent changes, like avoiding sweetened salad dressings and peanut butter.

Check out the challenge at www.fedupmovie.com - start your own if you missed this one!

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May 15, 2014

No Prayer Is Ever Wasted - #bringbackourgirls

Did you know there are bottles in heaven that hold our tears?*  I imagine some are filled with the tears of families whose girls were kidnapped in Nigeria

Visiting Nigeria has been on my bucket list since my family traced our lineage through DNA tests.  Before news of the kidnappings broke, I'd started researching the Kanuri tribe, where our bloodline originated.  

News that the kidnappers spoke Kanuri left me feeling sick - a sense of violation that brothers I had never met had done something so twisted to sisters I had not yet known.

As journalists, we often walk a line between our acute awareness of danger and death and yet somehow feeling "shielded" in the midst of it.

Like so many others, that is my prayer for the 230 Nigerian schoolgirls who were unable to escape - that somehow they will be shielded. And return home safely.

Prayer. Such a mystery.  Why does one plea meet with near instant manifestation of an answer and another seemingly goes unanswered?  Forever. 

I've thought a lot about prayer since covering the 2010 earthquake in Haiti - so many lives lost; so few prayers met with heaven's 'yes.'  And then on a return trip, doubt was erased after an experience that could have been deadly.

Our host had taken us to the pristine coast outside of Port-au-Prince.  On the way back, our truck broke down.  A storm was heading our way.  The sun was giving off its final golden rays.

We were in trouble.  The US State Department had warned travelers not to be out after dark due to a growing number of kidnappings.

"I have to get you off the road," our host turned to me - the only woman in our caravan of a half dozen Brazilian missionaries and an American EMT.

"I could never live with myself if..." his voice trailed off. Rape. Torture. God knows what.

I tried to stay hidden in the back seat while the men worked under the hood. It was one of those nights when you can feel evil in the air - like a pressure on your chest.  Breaths come shallow.  Nerves flinch at the slightest movement.

A man approached the truck.  Picked up a large rock.  I covered my face expecting the window to shatter.

Instead, he shoved the rock under the back tire to keep the truck from rolling.  He never said a word, just kept walking...

We found out once we had cell signals that two of us had received calls from friends overseas with the same message:  I don't know why, but I'm compelled to pray for you right NOW.

We later learned that kidnappers had abducted two people near where our truck broke down...

Will prayer help bring back the Nigerian schoolgirls?  Our prayers are not always answered in ways that makes sense to us...but no prayer is ever wasted.

*Psalm 56:8

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Apr 24, 2014

When the Path Looks Like a Dead End

Photo:  Seardig Photography on Etsy
You've been faithfully running toward the finish line - maybe pursuing a creative dream or losing weight - and you're finally seeing real progress. Yay!  You may only be taking baby steps but you're still moving forward.

...Only to find that your hard work and dedication has led to a crossroads:  quit or feel like you're going to die trying anymore.

You've got to make some decisions that will shape the next season of your life but you're beaten down by the sheer weight of chasing your dream. Discouraged. Broke. Too exhausted to even flash a grin at Jimmy Fallon who just walked past you at LAX (yes, that happened).

Like Dorothy and her entourage on the way to see the Wizard, you've hit the deadly poppy field.  The valley of dry bones. The graveyard where it will require a miracle to restore your vision.

Seven years ago when I moved to Hollywood, I went to a workshop for entertainment industry newcomers. The speaker, a TV and film veteran, spoke to us bluntly.

"Only a handful of you will still be here in a few years," he said.  "Of that handful, only about one percent will find success."

Ouch.

He wasn't trying to kill our dreams; he was trying to prepare us for the long, competitive road ahead.  He was reminding us that the race doesn't necessarily go to the strong and the mighty - or to the rich and well-connected - but to those who persevere.

So don't quit.  Make peace with God's pace. Keep moving forward.  We'll eventually make it to the place He intended all along. 


Mar 10, 2014

Detox the Emotions Keeping You Unhealthy

My article below appears on the health and fitness site, Feel Rich, created by music mogul Quincy Jones' son!

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Seems just about everyone's on some sort of health/weight loss kick - juicing, Crossfit, Paleo (Google 'caveman diet' if you don't know what it is). Goodbye, Krispy Kremes; hello, kale.

Even with all the tools, rules and resources available to us, the weight loss battle isn't won in the gym, it's won in our hearts. Heal the emotions, begin to heal the body.

The number on the scale isn't the real issue. Most of us - stats say up to 95% - will regain any weight we do lose.

So forget quick external fixes. Resolve to be gentle with yourself. Let go of condemnation and guilt. Give yourself grace.

These are three keys to begin detoxing emotions that may be keeping you unhealthy:

1. Be gentle with yourself.
Being gentle with yourself happens when you can stop laying blame and instead take responsibility for your health.

Our culture tells us fat is not our fault. Blame genetics. Stress. Metabolism. Hormones. TV. Medications...

After gaining nearly 50 pounds, I blamed a family obesity curse and a demanding job.

But truthfully, I needed to admit that I was a food addict who would choose Red Velvet cupcakes over lifting weights any day.

Saying "It's my fault that I'm overweight" is very different from saying, "I am responsible for doing something about my weight." The former causes you to look back; the latter faces you forward toward healing.

2. Let go of condemnation and guilt.
Science has proven that forgiving others and ourselves can help fight off diseases like depression, stroke and high blood pressure.

We just don't hear much about it largely because the multi-billion dollar weight-loss industry doesn't make money off of forgiveness - and we're too busy chasing empty promises.

One day as I was watching people run up a hill, the thought came to me, 'Who told you that you would always be fat?'

...the saleswoman who  bluntly told my mother no one sells size 14 dresses for little girls...TV viewers who said I was too fat...a co-worker who put my face on a pig roast invitation...

I'd been teased and bullied about my body for so long that I believed the lie that I could never. run. up a hill. Sobbing, my heart was finally released from the prison of self-hatred and guilt.

It's hard to look at yourself and hate what you see. To get free, you have to forgive - and that may include the person looking back at you in the mirror.

(Do not be ashamed if you need a therapist's help at this point.)

3. Give yourself grace.
"The number one reason people regain weight," says Dr. Jennifer Landa, "is the diet mentality. If we live in a state of constantly feeling deprived, we will eventually rebel."

Giving yourself grace is the opposite - a way to adopt a mindset of abundance and plenty.

I grew up afraid of starving. To escape that poverty mindset, I took a radical approach: I let myself eat anything I wanted for a week. ANYTHING.

Instead of spiraling out of control, you know what happened? Grace. I didn't have to fear starving anymore - not for food or love or forgiveness.

You'll find your new mindset spills over into wanting to rid yourself of destructive habits, excess stuff and even toxic relationships that don't support the best version of you.
 
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As your spirit heals, you'll find that your body begins to tell you the healthy things that it wants; you may be hearing it speak for the first time.

You really can ditch the scale and lose weight from the inside out. Detox your emotions and you're well on the way to a life rich in health.

And that hill that left me in tears? I run up it all the time now.
  

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