Breathe

Filming a scene with Garcelle Beauvais on the set of "Eyes to See"

Filming just wrapped on the movie inspired by our team's work in Haiti after the earthquake. It's often hard to walk away from a prodution because of the bonds formed with the cast and crew. 

This time was no different.

Eyes to See, starring Matthew Marsden (Rambo, Transformers), is about a cameraman forced to choose between helping people and doing his job after the earthquake. An actor asked how I felt being on set after having experienced the tragedy firsthand. "Like I can breathe again," I answered.

Actors taking a break on the LA set of "Eyes to See"

Despite working 12-hour days covered in fake blood and dirt,  shooting dozens of takes at 2 am and enduring blistering heat, my lungs filled with the air of creativity and purpose.

Few doors have opened for me to tell meaningful stories since moving to LA and just when it seems I'll have to go back to covering pimps and perverts, a project like this comes along.

Struggling to finish the film in Haiti, director Dave de Vos wondered if it was worth it. "And then I stand here where so many lives were lost," he says, "I see the spirit of the Haitian people, the smiles of the children, and the hope for the future, and I remember."

Dave is donating the film's royalties to a Haitian rebuilding nonprofit. My part is small in comparison but I'm grateful to play a role. Grateful this movie isn't about egos. Grateful to put my head up and breathe.

"I remember our call to help the least, the last and the lost; our mission to shine a light on hope. That's why we have to get it right." ~Dave de Vos

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Action!

Filming "Eyes to See" at Blue Cloud Ranchi in California

Back on set! I have a small part in the film inspired by our trip to Haiti after the earthquake. Eyes to See tells the story of the disaster's aftermath through the eyes of a news photographer. With a cast led by Matthew Marsden (Rambo, Transformers) and Garcelle Beauvais (NYPD Blue, The Jaime Foxx Show), director Dave de Vos says "it's a story of hope even amidst the tragedy."

I feel a bit emotional on set. My thoughts go back to the ruins of Port au Prince.  Even though it's been nine months, the suffering remains so great. This week a worker at the orphanage where we stayed said one of the kids may not make it through the night due to a brain infection. "Don't let them stick me with needles," little Juno told doctors, "They hurt!!!"

Fortunately it looks like surgeons will be able to save Juno's life but what about his future? No family. Sick. And yet...dare we dream for him? With him?

Yes...not because this film will make a difference in his life, but because hope refuses to stay buried in the rubble.

Nine months ago when people asked me why face the risks in Haiti, I answered, "This is a moment in history in which I've been invited to play a role. How can I say no?"  

I have the same feeling on set:  a sense of being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people - a trifecta of grace. 

Map vini an Ayiti anko. I will return to Haiti.

Sadly Juno (hugging the stuffed animal above) died a few weeks after I wrote this post.

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Haiti Film Underway!

Actor Nikki Storm prepares to film a scene in "Eyes to See" at Blue Cloud Ranchi

Filming has started on the movie inspired by our Haiti team! Eyes to See stars Matthew Marsden (Rambo and Transformers) and Garcelle Beauvais, a native Haitian known (NYPD Blue, Franklin & Bash).  The film is about a photographer forced to choose between doing his job and helping people after the earthquake.

Nine months after the disaster, orphanage workers tell us the children are coping despite immense suffering. Grief though, finds a way to assert itself. unstoppable tears. pain. anger.

Grief still feels foreign to me.  Being a reporter demands staying emotionally disconnected in order to handle the violence and death of the lens through which we see the world. 

A few years ago the news reported that a mom had thrown her three babies into the San Francisco Bay. The tide swept away the tiny bodies before anyone could save them.  Divers were searching by the Golden Gate Bridge near where I lived at the time.

I walked the Bay half-hoping to find a miracle. "God, you've made me unfit for news," I wept. Away from the crime beat, I was discovering tears I'd never shed no matter how many murders I saw.

Today I was thinking about something a friend wrote while keeping vigil at his dad's bedside. "Jesus wept," he'd written, "but not tears of despair."  

Jesus wept. The shortest verse in the Bible. 

And a thought came to me that made grief ok: sometimes tears precede miracles.

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