Thrill Seekers. Younger Dates. New Cars.

**post contains graphic content**

Why is it that after doing something you’ve dreamed of for a long time, the thrill fades so quickly? You’re left wondering, “What's next?” 

I didn’t expect to hit that place so soon after skydiving.  My brother thinks he knows why:  “Some people have a mid-life crisis and buy a new car or date a younger person,” he says. “My sister jumps from a perfectly good airplane!” 

I prefer to think some of us are born with an extra adventure gene. Besides, journalists are wired to take risks; our jobs demand it. 

But those risks often come at a high emotional cost and there are few healthy outlets. How do you escape memories? 

...a teenage girl dying naked in the street fleeing the jilted boy who stabbed her...a mom's mangled body as a drunk driver who slammed into her car sits unscathed in his...fathers blown to bits in a freak accident...

...They were repairing a gas main when it exploded.  We were the first TV crew to arrive.

“GET BACK!” yelled police cordoning off the scene. “You’re stepping on them!”  

We'd unkowingly walked into the blast area, trampling bits of flesh.

After doing interviews, I went to take notes.  Something in the brush - a stark, white boulder? - caught my eye.  It wasn't a rock. 

“Commander!" I yelled, "Over here!"  A man's head...the blast area was wider than we'd realized.

Fathers. husbands. sons. How do you forget?  I've watched friends get lost trying - drinking, drugs, eating disorders. 

Without faith and adventure I'd probably get lost, too. 

So yes, I plan to skydive again. Without my brother.  "No thanks," he said, “I don't want my last words on earth to be with some man strapped to my back."

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