Diary of a Mad Black Actor

Photo Credit:  Francesca www.xoxocesca.com

The pain of a throbbing big toe woke me in the middle of the night. I didn't even know I'd hurt it running until it felt like a searing hot iron touched to tender skin.

I stifle tears, praying away the sharp ache.  Sleepless and disturbed, the physical pain oddly unlocks a hidden vault - in my heart.

I thought of a recent conversation with a director.

"You don't seem angry," he said.

"I'm not," I answered, puzzled. The script hadn't called for the character to be mad.

"I thought all black women were angry," he stated.

Really? Just because I'm black? 

Awakened by pain, my heart began to speak. I. am. angry.  Raging. burning. achingly mad. 

Because you don't see me when you are creating projects.  It doesn't even occur to you that your cast is full of faces that look like Taylor Swift's.

"Your lips..." the makeup artist says to me, uncomfortably.

"What about them?" I ask, naively.

She struggles to explain. 

"Let me show you how to make them look smaller, um, not so....dark. They don't bother me," she wants me to understand, "But the director might want you to...do something about them."

She uses concealer to completely cover my lips. Then redraws a smaller outline with a light brown pencil. Fills them in with dewey lipstick.

Smaller. Lighter. Pinker.

"Now you can do it yourself....if you get complaints."

Humiliated. I am camera ready.

Praying that my hair and makeup don't rebel under the hot lights, I deliver my lines through the new, less offensive lips.

At home, I scrub off the fake face.  There they are:  full, dark, bold lips. I get them from my daddy. His are nearly black; soft. He once told me that as a young man he thought he was ugly.

Guess no one ever showed him how to draw a mask over his face...

I try to smile at the reflection in the mirror.

Raging. burning. aching pain.

Because you demand my gratitude at creating this mask. Require my devotion for a minute on the screen. Expect my admiration at what a saint you are for casting a sister.

"Yes, massa, you a good man."

On set, I make jokes to ease the tension of being the token black. We don't know how to act around each other.

You're afraid of me...hiding it behind an embrace, telling everyone, "Look, isn't she beautiful?" like a trophy on display.

I can tell you're irritated that I've invaded your space; that my mere presence demands...something. You quickly insert me in a scene. Feed me a few lines, or feature me prominently.

So that no one can accuse you of being racist.

I can tell you're upset. Because my look, my skin - the color of roasted coffee - "pulls focus" against the spray tans. blondes. blue eyes.

I want to go to sleep. Tomorrow I'll smile again through the painted-on pink lips...so that you don't reject me as just another mad, black actor.

Like the suppressed energy of an earthquake that splits the ground open and quickly diffuses, the raging, burning, aching pain settles back into its vault.

Quiet on the set, please.

Chris Hemsworth - What to Look for in a Man

Photo:  People Magazine 2014

Today: this face on magazine stands around the world.  Despite the Twitter chatter that other stars should have received the title, in my book Chris Hemsworth is the "Sexiest Man Alive."

He's even sexier in person.  I had a chance to meet Chris last Oscar season at a screening for his film, Rush, hosted by the Directors Guild.  The PR team emphatically stated Chris would not be signing autographs or taking photos.

I happened to be in one of the front rows and before his handlers could whisk him off stage, Chris was taking selfies with us and signing pictures. Thor up close - sexy? Um, speechless. 

Photo:  People Magazine 2014

Besides the fact that he's hot, Chris seems to have qualities that would make for an ideal mate.  He's married but if you're looking for more than a Tinder hook-up, here are five traits I saw in Chris that would make any guy the sexiest man alive:

1.  He's humble about his looks.  
Chris honestly didn't seem to notice or care how hot he is.  Maybe it's the scruff or the tousled hair or the not-too-shredded muscles - but he doesn't seem like one of those guys who spends half his time at the gym or in front of a mirror.  That translates into knowing you'll get his attention, whether in the bedroom or the boardroom.

2.  He's gracious.
Chris could have walked off the stage shielded by his handlers but you could tell he wanted to be gracious to the audience.  I'm sure he hates getting mobbed by fans but he seems to accept it as part of the cost of fame.  He doesn't seem to let the adoration get to his ego.  A gracious guy is one who makes others feel significant instead of insisting the spotlight always be on him.

3.  He can laugh at himself.
Chris laughed often during the Q&A and it was easy to feel happy and upbeat listening to him.  Ever been with a guy where you're always afraid you'll say the wrong thing and set him off? No one's worth that much work. A sense of humor goes a long way during stormy times.

4.  He's authentic.
Chris didn't seem to be worried about protecting an image.  He's doesn't act like Thor in real life; he has soft spots.  The guy who never appears weak? The mystery may seem alluring initially but you'll eventually find yourself pounding on the wall he's built around his heart. A truly sexy man doesn't need a false version of himself to attract others.

5.  He honors his wife and family.
Chris probably gets hit on constantly but I loved how he honored his wife even when she wasn't around. He didn't try to come across as a stud. He wasn't ashamed of the ring on his finger.  A man who honors those around him? Sexy times 100.

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10 Tips for Keeping it Classy from the Red Carpet

Catherine Zeta-Jones at the American Film Institute tribute to Jane Fonda. June 2014

classy \ adjective : having qualities that make someone special and attractive : showing impressive character (Merriam-Webster dictionary)
---
What makes a person classy?  Take Catherine Zeta Jones.  She's fought bi-polar disorder, a stormy marriage, a stalled career. Yet she still exudes class - not with a designer dress and diamonds, but with warmth and a wave.

So what's the difference between classy and trashy?  Here's a few things I've observed from the red carpet: 

1.  Classy people have mastered the art of flirting to make others feel special - not necessarily to get them into bed. 

2.  Classy people don't drink too much - both to avoid acting like a fool and long lines for the restroom. Squatting somewhere is never classy. Neither is peeing in a bucket, Mr. Bieber.

3.  Classy people aren't afraid to apologize, like Reese Witherspoon when she pulled the, "Do you know who I am?" line on a cop.   

4.  Classy people are kind even when others don't deserve it; no Alec Baldwin tantrums.  "Never sacrifice your class to get even with someone who has none." (author unknown)

5.  Classy people have a mystique that somehow commands it; that's why they can leave the see-through dresses to Rihanna.


6.  Classy people look others in the eye.  Besides, wearing sunglasses at night makes anyone look like a douche.  Except maybe Bono. And Stevie Wonder.

7.  Classy people end conversations graciously, even if they're talking to someone creepy.  

8.  Classy people wear panties in public. 

9.  Classy people aren't threatened by others' success and don't try to make anyone feel insignificant; they're secure enough to let you be fabulous.

10.  Classy people don't obsess over their fame; they see it mainly as a platform to do good and inspire the world.

And the bonus observation - classy people don't waste time trying to make others love them. Instead, they unselfishly love the ones who matter most.  

"Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuit of people [that don't even matter] to love us, while the people who do love us...watch us beg in the streets." (C. JoyBell)

Keep it classy.

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When the Path Looks Like a Dead End

Photo:  Seardig Photography on Etsy

You've been faithfully running toward the finish line - maybe pursuing a creative dream or losing weight - and you're finally seeing real progress. Yay!  You may only be taking baby steps but you're still moving forward.

...Only to find that your hard work and dedication has led to a crossroads:  quit or feel like you're going to die trying anymore.

You've got to make some decisions that will shape the next season of your life but you're beaten down by the sheer weight of chasing your dream. Discouraged. Broke. Too exhausted to even flash a grin at Jimmy Fallon who just walked past you at LAX (yes, that happened).

Like Dorothy and her entourage on the way to see the Wizard, you've hit the deadly poppy field.  The valley of dry bones. The graveyard where it will require a miracle to restore your vision.

Seven years ago when I moved to Hollywood, I went to a workshop for entertainment industry newcomers. The speaker, a TV and film veteran, spoke to us bluntly.

"Only a handful of you will still be here in a few years," he said.  "Of that handful, only about one percent will find success."

Ouch.

He wasn't trying to kill our dreams; he was trying to prepare us for the long, competitive road ahead.  He was reminding us that the race doesn't necessarily go to the strong and the mighty - or to the rich and well-connected - but to those who persevere.

So don't quit.  Make peace with God's pace. Keep moving forward.  We'll eventually make it to the place He intended all along. 

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Daring to Stay in the Race

getting on-camera ready

It's been almost a year since I left my day job to pursue TV hosting and acting full-time in Hollywood.  

Ironically, I hadn't planned to quit my marketing job that day.  In fact, my boss and I were meeting to discuss my big promotion.  But as we talked, I just got this sense of...seaweed. wrapping around my body. suffocating. salty tears. 

Then I heard this quiet, wavering voice. 

I think I need to give you notice.

Was that my voice?!?  Give up my private office with the dual monitors?  Company happy hours? Secret stash of neon Post-it notes?  No way. I need security. I need stability. 

I need...freedom...to chase a dream that won't. go. away.

And then my boss, saying:  Don't be a fool.

So incredibly foolish throwing away a golden opportunity...except when the opportunity is killing something inside that refuses to let you be happy until you find courage to embrace it.

This might be the most foolish thing I've ever done...but I need to leave.

It was finished. I was leaving the small company I had helped build the last five years.

Has it been tough?  Absolutely.  Do I regret my decision?  Absolutely not.

Of course, there have been costs.  Not gonna lie - I miss the little extravagances that don't come with a downsized budget. Spa mani/pedis. Victoria's Secret body wash. Salon shampoo. But those luxuries don't matter much in the big picture.

Of course, there are greater sacrifices - the emotional kind.  Loneliness (even if you don't miss your former boss' wakeup calls!).  Feeling misunderstood; friends seem to think you're "unemployed" and should be available 24/7. Self-doubt. Feelings of rejection when you get passed over - after four call-backs - for a part you were 100% right for.

At times it's just downright scary.

You know, money scary.  I'm one of those people who likes to pay my bills  all on the same day every month, no worries about late or skipped payments.  Goodbye to that system without a direct deposit.  And the car? It'll have to wait for that timing belt. But, Lord, what if it breaks down on the way to an audition?!  Then the phone falls out of your pocket.  And shatters...

But when breakthroughs come, well, those are priceless.  Booking a TV pilot.  Getting published on big websites. And today, waiting to hear back about the hugest network audition of my life, one I could never have imagined.

And of course, it's confidential for now. So you can't even share the victory of finally getting in the room...

Some days the greatest success is just having dared to stay in the race. Is it worth it?  You bet your purple pedicure.
 

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Awards Season & Body Image Video

Attending a screening of 'August: Osage County' with George Clooney, Julia Roberts & cast 

It's that time of year again - Hollywood awards season!  

The studios host screenings to boost their film's chances to take home statues at the Oscars, SAG Awards, Golden Globes and more. Being a member of the Screen Actors Guild pays for itself this time of year when invites outnumber spam in the inbox.

My co-host, Danika Brysha, and I sat a few feet from George Clooney, Julia Roberts and cast members of August: Osage County at a recent screening. 

Danika and I were celebrating our last night together in LA since she's heading East to rock the plus size modeling world. Before she left, we shot this video on handling body image issues. 

I've written pretty extensively on the topic here in my blog since it's been an on-going struggle for me and I know for many of you. You can read more by clicking "body image" on the topics section.  Also, I'm contributing to the health and fitness site, Feel Rich, so check that out for ideas about becoming your best self. 

Have a fabulous holiday season!

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Rock the Room

getting ready for a SAG national commercial audition

Lately I've been focusing all my attention on 'getting in the room.'  Hollywood is so competitive that it's a full-time job pursuing opportunities in entertainment. 

At a recent SAG national commercial casting audition, the director even posted a notice letting us know we were one of the few people chosen out of up to 2,000 candidates for EACH role!

I started the year off by saying I was going to take some risks in 2013.  Well, the big news is that I quit my day job! 

Saying goodbye to a position I'd held for almost five years - and the lucrative, steady paycheck - is terrifying!  But I hadn't been able to audition so it was time to make a choice.

From now until November is episodic season when sessions are held to cast roles for upcoming TV shows. It will be a big change from going to the office everyday but I'm excited to be a able to audition, workout much more and take on creative projects. 

And for you, whatever you do, rock the room!

-- Backstage magazine ran a great article about episodic season from casting director Caroline Liem, click here.  

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Pt. 2: Keeping Up with the Kardashians - Behind the Scenes of My TV Pilot

E! photo

The pampered Hollywood lifestyle is about as far from my background as you can get. Raised on US military bases, we learned how to salute and survive in the wilderness; in Hollywood, it's all about appearance - like how to apply airbrushed makeup or cover the breasts in sheer tops (Band-aids. Really).

For someone who still prefers combat boots to high heels, I have to step out of my comfort zone when I'm working on camera.  As part of my Keeping Up with the Kardashians series, I take you behind the scenes to show what it's like shooting a TV show pilot.  

I'm on set all week with the team behind blockbuster films like Chronicles of Narnia, The Passion of the Christ and The Secret Life of Bees as they expand their film-making success into TV (in case you're wondering, a "pilot" is basically a test episode for TV decision-makers to see.  Most shows start as pilots before getting picked up as series). 

Like any woman, the Kardashians don't roll out of bed looking flawless.  But unlike most of us, they have a team of stylists at hand.  To me, that's one of the best parts of working on camera - so nice to have someone else take care of hair, makeup and wardrobe while you simply relax, talk or even nap!

In the makeup room

I did channel my inner Kim K. a few times, vetoing some choices like airbrushed foundation that masked my skin's natural brightness and hairstyles needing extra hold since hairspray breaks off my fine hair.

Another great thing: craft services. Who doesn't love a buffet? I arrived at my call time each morning and fueled up on scrambled eggs, fresh strawberries, pineapple, grapes and melon. 

I try to avoid gluten and sugar so stayed away from the sandwich and dessert trays (although I did sneak a brownie or two!).  My vice: drinking caffeinated soda for the long hours on set.

Of course, there are the less glam times on a production, like long wait times between segments for set and lighting adjustments. And deadline pressures and creative differences can lead to friction but fortunately our cast and crew got along well.

On set of the talk show pilot

We shot four pilot episodes over two days dishing on everything from sex to marriage to afterlife but we won't know the show's future for several months.  
--
Check out part 3 of my Kardashians series with tips on how to get a flawless face here.

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Managing Emotions before a Photo Shoot

I've been writing about my battle with camera shyness despite working in TV and dealing with emotions before a shoot. Then, almost as if it were timed, I get a call that a celebrity photographer wants to fit me into a last-minute opening. 

I knew I had to jump on the opportunity even though I was waiting to hear if a family member would make it through surgery 2,000 miles away. Here's how I managed the day in case it helps anyone else.
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9:00 am:  Shower. Wash/blow dry hair (yogurt facial mask applied day before).

10:00 am:  Photographer had suggested wearing black dress. I only wear LBD's at red carpet events and funerals. Picked one I wear to funerals. Pack:

• fuschia tank top and blouse, purple business top, black skirt
• skinny jeans, denim jacket, silver belt, black booties (oops, forgot pumps)
• necklace, diamond stud earrings 

10:30 am: Practice poses while waiting for call from hospital to take my mind off things (it may feel stupid but the mirror really helps!).

11:30 am:  Walk to mall to look for dress. Shopping fail.

2:15 pm:  Shower again. Style hair. Apply makeup in natural shades. Lancome Teint Idole foundation, blush, MAC Blotting Powder, YSL Golden Gloss, liner, mascara.

3:20 pm:  Finish packing (remember blotting cloths, lint remover, charger, etc.).  Get a call that my relative made it through surgery! 

4:00 pm:  Traffic, grrrr. Rush hour + construction + Dodgers game = tortuous crawl. Running late. Feeling tense.

5:10 pm:  Meet photographer.  Perfect light, known as 'magic hour' just before sunset when light is soft and casts few shadows.

6:30 pm:  Wrap! Photographer works fast.

1:30 am:   Night owls - photographer sends raw shots to review.

2:30 am: Winner!

Something that helped me focus despite the emotional challenges was to view things like an artist.  Artists often name their work and use it to channel their emotions so that's what I did.  I called the shoot, 'Surrender,"  as a statement of trusting God even when facing the possible loss of a loved one.

On the practical side, packing a day or two before the shoot helps reduce stress; so does avoiding sugar and caffeine.  For expert advice from the photographer on rocking your shoot, check out my article, 'Camera Shy?  Tips to Photograph Like a Celebrity.' 
---
Model Jen Brook as some fantastic posing tips in her blog: http://jenbrookmodel.tumblr.com.  

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Camera Shy? Tips to Photograph Like a Celebrity

This article appears this month in a Dartmouth alumni publication

We all get the urge to smack someone who sticks a camera in our face:  Your old roommate who posts Facebook photos from hell.  Aunt Lucy who stalks you at family reunions. Your boss who bear hugs you in company photos.  Your local police officer who…scratch that, you don’t want to smack a cop taking your mug shot. 

Many of us are camera shy.  For me, it was rooted in a family history of shyness - so acute in some relatives, we don't have pictures of them - and in being a chubby kid.  Anyone who was bullied or teased about their looks understands.

As an adult, the problem got worse after gaining the freshman 15 (er, 30).  I perfected tricks to dodge even candid snaps - from ducking behind furniture to wearing sunglasses indoors.

Despite my career in TV, I learned to "hide" behind the camera by showcasing other people's stories.  I avoided headshots even though mine looked like relics from our frat row days.  When photos were inescapable, my smile was as fake as Lindsay Lohan trying to look innocent in court.

Camera shyness was sabotaging my career.

I finally called photographer Maria Peterson, whose clients range from celebrities to brides. I've known Maria forever so I could trust her for nonjudgmental advice.

"Even models struggle with self-consciousness," she said, "but they learn to embrace the awkwardness."

If you have a photo shoot on the horizon for graduation or a new job, read on for tips on how to photograph like a celebrity.

Prepare

"Preparation is the key to dealing with inhibition,” says Maria, who suggests starting a week before a photo session.  Some of her clients change how they eat; others get more sleep or do yoga to help relax.

Make that hair appointment, get a manicure, pack a tote with items you'll need the day of the shoot - basic advice but Maria finds too many people wait until the last minute and then are disappointed with their shots.  Taking control early was helpful for an Ivy League overachiever; I already felt more confident.

  

Plan

What should I wear, exactly?  Images of Helen Mirren in Calendar Girls flashed through my mind. 

I planned a trip to the mall.

Not so fast, says Maria.  "It's best not to go out and buy something you've never worn that may make you feel inhibited or may not be you.  It's better to wear simple clothes that accentuate the face."

So that just left the question of what colors to wear. In TV, we avoid green, brown and blue (they don't work well for 'green screen'), red, white and black.

I was surprised Maria said any colors would work. While she thinks most people photograph well in jewel tones, "It's more important to wear what makes you feel really confident, really hot. Keep it simple." 

Practice

In TV there's a term called 'cheating to camera' where we stand slightly angled. It feels silly but practicing flattering (i.e. slimming) poses in front of a mirror helps build confidence as you learn to play up your assets and accept how you look - Dumbo ears, double chin and all.

Confession: friends and I practice our red carpet pose. You know the one: chin down/shoulders back/hand on hip.  Forget copying Angelina Jolie’s thigh-baring Oscars pose but we pull off sexy ok.

You may not walk the red carpet but with practice posing for the PTA newsletter won't leave you a nervous, sweaty wreck either.

Play

Finally, your photo shoot should be fun; it's your chance to show what makes you unique inside. "The more you can drop your guard," says Maria, "the easier it is to capture the real you and have fun."

TV coach Marki Costello gave me the push I needed to finally confront camera shyness. Marki, who coaches stars from Stacy Keibler to Cee Lo in her Become A Host program, says the key is to think about your audience more than yourself.

"Think about what you want to convey to the person looking at the shot," says Marki.  "Are you witty, funny, devious, clever?  Have it come out in your face."

Getting a photo that 'pops' is about showing your personality most of all.  "People are so worried about being glamorous and dolled up," says Marki, "but I want to see something in their eyes and face that tells me who they are."

Even if paparazzi aren't hiding in your bushes, these tips should help combat the urge to act like Alec Baldwin and punch the next photographer who shoves a camera in your face. 

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Cover Story

Photo:  Details Magazine 2012

It seems rare these days to go to a movie and walk away inspired.  Inspired to create. to revolutionize. to discover.

One benefit of being in the TV/film union SAG-AFTRA is receiving invitations to screenings for the top award contenders during Oscar season.  The director and cast often attend so this week a friend and I went to hear Ben Affleck and the cast talk about making Argo. 

Argo is based on true events from the 1970's Iranian hostage crisis. Affleck directs and plays the lead role, a CIA agent trying to get six Americans out of Iran by creating a cover story that they're Canadian filmmakers scouting exotic locales for a sci-fi flick.

I thought the movie would be graphic and disturbing with torture and execution scenes but it wasn't.  In fact, what emerges is a story that inspires.



"Argo" screening

Maybe it has to do with excellence. Even though the sci-fi film they're making within the real film is phony, the creative minds behind it still set superior standards.  

"If I'm making a fake movie," says the fake producer (Alan Arkin), "it's going to be a fake hit."

Or maybe it's because it reminds us that in a flash any one of our lives can move the world.  

They weren't making a movie. They were making history.  

p.s. No one connected to the film paid me to write this post. Unfortunately.

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Mean Girls

Lindsay Lohan star of "Mean Girls."  Photo:  Humza 

A talent agent told me I come off too sweet. "Too 'pink,' not enough flavor," she said. "We need to see the naughty in you."

I can hear my childhood friends roaring with laughter.  I was a mean girl long before Lindsay Lohan.  

The trouble started in 1st grade with a new kid at school.  He  didn't fit in wearing Sunday clothes to school.  He cut in line at recess. I punched him.  He socked me in the eye.

By 4th grade I'd moved on to bullying - teachers. "Hey, guppy lips!"  I taunted one who had a mouth like Mick Jagger.  

Another time Mrs. L. broke down in tears as I led a class revolt against 'the witch.' 

By high school I was hanging out with a crew of misfits who cut class and drank Mickey's in the park. 

Despite the trouble, A's came easy.  "You're going to college," my dad insisted, shipping me off to the Ivy League with the warning, "I don't do bail once you're 18."   

Later as a crime reporter, I confronted killers, gang members, sleazy politicians, with the steeliness of a true mean girl. 

Yet God - radical love - had somehow begun to pierce a hardened heart. 

Too sweet? A friend put it best: "When you're looking for a brand of 'edgy' that is filled with desperation, despondency, depression and dejection and encounter a different brand of edgy filled with love, joy and peace it's difficult to deal with." 

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Breaking Bad

Experts say it takes six weeks to break a habit.  I'm not battling pills or booze but I am trying to break a style picked up working the TV news crime beat. Newscasters have a distinct on-air style that's hindering me from doing more creative work - work that doesn't require covering dead bodies.

"We just need to get the newscaster out of you," TV coach Marki Costello said at our first session.  I'd called Marki after seeing her help former NFL pro Hank Baskett move from the football field to the studio.

Marki teaches the same technical skills like TelePrompter and breaking down copy that newscasters learn but in a way that fits the style of TV hosting. Hosting is a completely different beast than news; sort of like the difference between boxers and wrestlers - both compete in a ring but they need different abilities.

"Reveal something about yourself we'd never know by looking at you," Marki instructed in her Hosting Boot Camp, "to help the audience connect with you." 

Hosts share intimate secrets with their audiences; as newscasters, we're trained to hide behind the camera. Newscasters tell other people's stories, not our own.  Strip off that protective layer?  No way.  

I revealed that my military dad had me in boxing gloves before I could read. My tone conveyed my message: back off.

Next assignment was reading copy for a dating show. Marking stopped me after a few sentences demanding, "What do YOU think?"  

As news anchors, we're trained to stay out of the story; whereas hosts make money off of their opinions. 

"That petite woman who won't date tall men has no idea what she's missing!"  I blurted out. Great. Now the audience thinks I sleep with NBA players.

Then came a live co-hosting drill. In news, we face a camera - not a crowd. The live audience felt like a jury. I mumbled a few words about the topic - travel, told a story about a recent trip to a Third World country - and crept back to my seat. 

A hot guy from The Bachelorette leaned over and whispered, "Do you know you said, 'pooped in a can?'" 

Despite Marki's coaching, I felt  stuck.  Too old to change with habits too big to break. Six weeks in TV rehab?  At least there shouldn't be any dead bodies. 

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Girls Who Wear Pink

Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett.

As a kid, I did not wear pink.  I lived in sneakers and overalls and my dad's army boots.  I loved clomping around in  his big, spiffy combat boots.  They were black and shiny and made me feel fierce and unstoppable.  

I still prefer to wear combat boots over high heels but thanks to a Playboy Playmate, I'm finally becoming one of those girls who wear pink (not a bunny suit!). 

I tuned in to the TV show Kendra on Top to watch a friend's guest appearance on reality the show. The show follows a racy former Playmate and her husband, Hank, as they leave the fast lane for family life. I caught an episode about Hank training to break into TV after retiring from the NFL. 

Watching Hank work with a TV hosting coach, I wondered if she might be able to help me, too.  Newscasters have a distinct on-air style that's gotten in my way when I audition for more creative roles.  At one commercial test, a cranky agent even snapped, "I want you to sell the sugar, not put it on the news." 

A phone call and $600 later, I was signed up for a weekend with Hollywood's self-professed Queen of Hosting. Marki Costello's roster includes celebrities like Cee Lo, Khloe Kardashian and many more.  

Time to step up my game fast. Hosting Boot Camp was just a month away. 

Since we'd be filming against in a green screen studio, I knew I'd need new clothes.  My closet is full of dark and neutral colors that look fine for reporting in the field but that are way too dull in the studio.  

Time had come to join the girls who wear...

Yep.  Pink would perfectly "pop" with my skin tone.  Bought my first-ever pink blouse.  Hope it looks okay with combat boots.

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Dark Chocolate & D Cups

Halle Berry.  Photo: Entertainment Rundown.

Checking out the audience at a recent Hollywood event, not a stray hair or scuffed Jimmy Choo in the house, it was striking to see a room of mostly Black women. 

They call themselves Dark Chocolate.

The SAG-AFTRA event, part sorority/part pep rally, was hosted by a group that is fighting Hollywood's pervasive stereotype of leading ladies:  big breasts, light skin, size zero.  Black women, especially those with dark skin and curves, barely stand a chance at being cast in starring roles. 

 "Name five dark chocolate women in romantic leads on TV or in movies," the host challenged. No one could. 

Industry figures show people of any color are hired for less than 15% of all roles. In fact, Hollywood remains one of the only places where hiring discrimination based on skin color, size or age is still legal.

One of Halle Berry's stunt doubles (looking even thinner than the 5'7," 123 pound Oscar winner) sat by me so we started talking.  "Halle gave me a chance and it grew from there," Eva (not her real name) said.

Eva encouraged me to consider stunt training after I mentioned my recent skydive (omitting all the shrieking). She said a good place to start is with precision driving, where skill matters more than skin color or breast size since the actual driver seldom gets screen time.

Realistically? Doors aren't going to fly open anytime soon for women like me.  But like Eva said, you just have to be ready when one does like it did for Halle's team - which even includes a MALE double. 

Halle Berry's Catwoman stunt double (The Honolulu Advertiser photo)

Yes, a MAN (Nito Larioza) performed many of Halle's sexy-fierce Catwoman moves!

Sometimes talent does triumph over fair skin and D cups.

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