Oct 21, 2014

Does God Care About Baseball?

Artwork:  Will Johnson
Yes. God cares about baseball.  Cares enough to show up at ballparks all the time. Answering prayers...often ones that have little to do with the game.

Not long ago I had an experience at AT&T Park like Ray in Field of Dreams.

A friend had convinced me to run the San Francisco half-marathon (the fact that I could run more than two blocks is a miracle in itself, story here).

I was excited to fulfill such a bold dream in the place I still call home; to run the streets where I'd lived; to run past AT&T Park where I would play hooky from work to watch the Giants.

The day of the race, a runner in front of me collapsed just as we ran alongside the stadium.  He didn't move. His chest lay flat, like there was no breath left in him.  Seconds seemed to be forevers.

"Stay with us, Eric!" his friends shouted, "Stay with us!"

I wanted to kneel next to him and breath air into his lungs but found only a silent prayer. God, please don't let him die!

There's a story in the Bible about this pool called Bethesda.  An angel would come stir the waters and divine healing would be released.

As the runner lay motionless, I glanced up at the glistening China Basin waters that flow along the ballpark's south walls.  And I saw the waters stir...

...I don't think that day was merely about a race.  Sometimes we're put in a place at a specific moment simply to whisper a prayer that changes things.

We just don't recognize life's most significant moments while they're happening.  Back then I thought, 'Well, there will be other days.' I didn't realize that that was the only day. ~ Field of Dreams

There outside the ballpark, I knew heaven had invited me into this moment; had entrusted me with the mystery of prayer. I felt His presence; a power greater than darkness or death. In that moment, I knew Eric would breathe again.

I also knew that I was supposed to finish the race. Yes, for myself - to celebrate the triumph of losing 50 pounds and restoring my health - but also for a stranger whose body failed him before he could cross the finish line.

Yes. God shows up at ballparks all the time.  Oh, I don't think He's betting on whether the Giants or Royals will win the World Series (that would hardly be fair!) but keep an eye on the waters...

They'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters.  ~ Field of Dreams


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Oct 9, 2014

How to Break Up and Keep Your Heart Intact

"Begin Again" Taylor Swift.
It is insanely painful. ~ Jennifer, on breaking-up

While Taylor Swift has mastered the art of channeling break-up pain through her music, when it happens to most of us, we just hurt. intensely. insanely. like we will never love again. ever.

Those of us who are the "loyal-like-Rihanna-is-to-Chris type" understand the dread of losing relationships.

It's over. Because you feel cheated. Tired of the constantly changing terms.

Sing it, Taylor, girl:

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday. 
("Dear John" by Taylor Swift)

Endings always leave an empty space.

Recently I was walking out a very real heartache as a friend messaged:  He hurt me today deeply.


She shared of one of those moments when the earth drops out from under you – a time for tissues, Häagen Dazs and girlfriends.

Yet, amid the tidal wave of emotions, I could hear love. Demanding. Shouting. YOU WILL LOVE AGAIN.

How?  How do you mend a heart that's shattered into a million pieces?

My friend knew she'd done the right thing breaking up with a man who was not meant to be her husband.  And there in her pain, came perspective so many of us need to hear.

Even though he may be a great man, he may not be YOUR man.

Loving yourself may mean having the courage and fortitude to let go. And be alone.  It may mean eating dinners alone. Nights alone. Holidays without him at your side.

In our hearts, we know spending a lifetime with someone we're not meant to be with would be worse than breaking up.  But, oh, it is insanely, intensely painful and lonely. RIGHT NOW.

And indeed, you will have doubts every day, says Jennifer.

I try to think of some word of comfort.  Some verse of hope.  Some promise from heaven. And all that comes out is...

"Time WILL heal the wound. Life WILL be beautiful again."

...trying to decree healing where right now there's only broken pieces.

Shut the door.  Eat M&M's until your fingers turn rainbow shades. Weeping may endure for the night. But in the morning, wake up expecting a new chapter to begin.  Because that is His promise.

And when you feel like you're finally starting to breathe on your own, love will come knocking. Daring you to open the door ever so slightly.  And you will find that your heart has healed and reawakens to something new...reshaped through pain, readied to love again.

Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again. 
 
~Taylor Swift, "Begin Again"